Adversity is a privilege

A few weeks ago, I had some significant health issues.

Physically, I caught the seasonal flu. I was operating with a quarter of a nostril (half if I was lucky) during those days. 

Mentally, it was a different ball game altogether. Due to various life-related reasons, depression crept in. The only way I deal with these situations is by immersing myself in my actions — work, workout, and content.

Each day, I published either an article or a video and kept up with my workouts. Moreover, I took things a step further and resumed my evening 3k runs.

That worked in the short term.

However, as the days progressed, new problems emerged. My body became stressed, which sent my anxiety levels through the roof. This, combined with the extra workouts, resulted in late-night adrenaline spikes. I could only sleep for a handful of hours every night for that entire week.

Still, I ignored the pain and kept pushing, determined to come out stronger.

Rising to the occasion

Challenges force you to venture into the unknown, step out of your comfort zone, and have difficult conversations with yourself. They also push you to confront your fears and insecurities, whether you are ready for them.

You either win now or later.

As the issues became more persistent and I was nearing a week of partial insomnia, I decided to take some time off. It was a response to my mental health issues, and thankfully, my friends had a nice trip planned out.

The first night of the weekend trip, I still struggled to sleep because the mental health issues weren’t addressed. I dug deep into my psyche and discovered the root of my problems to tackle them head-on.

The biggest cause of my anxiety and depression was my perceived lack of progress. On the surface, as a content creator, I have made marginal progress in the last two years. The metrics, such as traffic to my website and the average views on my YouTube videos, were nothing impressive.

However, behind the scenes, I made some great strides. My processes were more efficient and content pieces resonated more with the intended audience.

Similarly, in the bodybuilding aspect, I felt stronger and faster, even though I haven’t achieved the elusive six-pack abs yet.

Another thing that ate at me from the inside was the burden of my past mistakes. Unfortunately, I made many dumb career choices due to ignorance that impeded my life’s progress. I held on to those and used them as a rationale to abuse myself.

Often, I’d push myself too much to the point of destruction and justify it by recalling those blunders. In my mind, the only way I could offset them is by breaking myself on the regular.

The final issue with me was self-acceptance. I guess this one surprised me the most. I always thought that I accepted myself with all my imperfections. Of course, the above paragraphs about me not forgiving myself for my past mistakes give it away, but it ran deeper.

I have always seen myself as a project. That building around the corner with scaffolding on it. When in front of a mirror, I always saw an inadequate man. A man who was never enough. A man who must grind himself to exhaustion every day to deserve to live.

Consequently, as you may imagine, being uncompromising by attacking every task on my ambitious daily to-do list was my default mode. It also affected my happiness levels because, in my mind, I never deserved any joy.

All of the mental insecurities were fueled by my past failures and rejections. 

That night, I stayed up until four in the morning to work through all this.

And I am still working through them. It is a continuous process. I must remain patient as I undo years of damage and view myself from a new perspective.

Inspiration from Alexander Volkanovski

Alexander “the Great” Volkanovski regained his featherweight throne at UFC 314 by beating a tough opponent in Diego Lopes. Before this fight, he suffered two knockout losses. Many analysts counted him out because of that and his age.

The 2x featherweight champion defied all the odds to secure a dominant unanimous decision.

One of the first things he said in the post-fight interview is “adversity is a privilege,” the title of this journal entry. He explained it further in his YouTube video that the setbacks in his career gave him the opportunity to become even better. [1]

Even I had counted him out. When Volk vs Lopes was announced, I was sad because I simply couldn’t see the Australian legend take another loss. He had been an inspiration in my life, and there were too many emotions involved.

Fortunately, he proved me wrong and went on to display that he is truly a GOAT.

The key takeaway from his ordeal is similar to the lessons I learned from my mental health struggles. Yes, the challenges I had faced in my life pale in comparison to the roadblocks he faced, but the insights do rhyme.

Adversity motivates you to break through ceilings and exceed your own expectations.

Still a long way ahead

The past few months have been amazing in terms of the things I got done. It also includes overcoming my mental blocks and accepting myself regardless of the past oversights and current flaws.

From the mercantile perspective, there isn’t much to show. But I’d be a hater to say that there haven’t been any improvements.

My workouts have become streamlined. The articles I write are much more nuanced, and I truly believe I am the best content writer at the moment. The videos coming out of me are improving by the week, proven by the organic engagement on YouTube.

The recent health challenges have simply made me stronger. I came out of the rut a better and more capable man. My days feel easier, and I am starting to see myself in a different light.

At the same time, I must continue to focus ahead and take one task at a time.

The Multiverse will do the rest.

Until next time,

Tara

References

1. Alexander Volkanovski — Adversity is a privilege