Session 21 Debrief: Finale + Epilogue

The stress of the previous week continued. I guess the past 15 or so days were hard because I was spread thin across projects. Then there was the unnecessary pressure to get married which accelerated my mental health’s decline.

Moreover, as the Formula 1 season opener is just around the corner, I had to adhere to my content production schedule. This included videos and articles. 

My patience and perseverance dipped and I started to seek solace in cheap dopamine hits. The worst of all, however, was the insomnia. It can be hard to go to bed when you’ve been going ham throughout the day and know you have another day like that coming up in eight hours.

Currently, it’s the grind phase. I’ve figured out what I want to do as my next venture — content creator —, and have developed the necessary skills. The only thing left is to keep churning out posts and videos that are incrementally better than the previous one.

To ensure continuity of effort, it is essential to focus on rest and recovery as well. And that’s where things have been going wrong for the past 15 or so days.

There is a ray of hope, though. It appears that I will be steadying the ship through this long weekend to attain a healthy work-life balance in the coming days.

This driving session is the beginning of that future.

Session 21 Recap

I have to unpack a lot of crap, so breaking down the entire session into multiple segments.

1. Lack of Sleep and Monkeys

It’s been difficult lately. Juggling multiple complex things took a toll on my mental health leading to insomnia. While I am not wide awake throughout the night, I can only manage a handful of hours of shut-eye.

Going to sleep has been challenging because my days end, in recent weeks, at about 10:30 pm. After countless hours of deep creative work and tedious administrative chores, I need some lone moments to sit down and collate my thoughts.

That is hard for me because, as mentioned earlier, too much is happening. Tackling them individually and drawing a conclusion takes some time. Then, I have to visualize the upcoming day which will be as taxing as the one before.

Anyone that has ever experienced stress or anxiety-induced insomnia, knows that it continually gets worse through the night. I take a gander at the clock and my heart starts racing again because the next day is inching closer.

Somehow I fall asleep. Then I woke up in an instant. It's about 4-5 am. And I can’t go back to sleep again because the morning is here and I am already dreading the grind it will put me through.

Today’s session was none like before. I will take my parents to a nearby temple and get some breakfast on the way back. In all of the previous solo or me-driving sessions, it was me going out in the wee hours or with friends, who are experienced drivers.

But this time, it was just me and responsibility.

When the three of us arrived at the parking spot, we discovered that the car’s cover was undone and the rear half of the vehicle was exposed. Upon closer inspection, it was certain that stray monkeys had fun with it.

I put the torn cover in the boot and realized I would have to wipe the windshield and mirrors myself before each ride because the car would be gathering dust in between the rides.

2. Smooth Operator

The entire drive was like slicing a chunk of butter with a warm knife. The entire ride was over 50 km and I encountered all sorts of roads and traffic. There were zero hairy moments when I felt the car was getting away from me.

Even in bumper-to-bumper congestions, the inching forward and braking were smooth.

I parked at a wide spot and we went into the temple. After the prayers and a hearty breakfast, I turned the car back in the middle of the road with no trouble. 

To make things better, the ride back was more confident and experienced. Whether it was making an overtake, maintaining pace, or conceding traffic position, the moments were executed well.

3. Cracked By Exhaustion

The only mess up of the whole ride was during parking the car back at its place near my home.

I totally forgot to check the left mirror while bringing it closer to the wall until it was too late. I felt the bump and realized what had happened. Post-parking, I went around to take a look at it.

The bumper was scraped and there were some scratches on the body. Nothing big, deep, or serious. Frankly, could’ve happened to anyone. In a way, this has taught me to check the goddamn side mirrors while parking.

I am pretty sure this operational oversight is somehow linked to the depressive ordeal I’ve been going through for the past two weeks. Although I am happy and, frankly, impressed, with the overall quality of the drive, there was a dip in my professionalism after a few days of insomnia.

Regardless, I know how to park the car tightly in such spaces from experience. Those scratches from that moment aren’t representative of my driving skills at all.

Epilogue: Took Me About 30 Days

On January 7th, 2025, I got my learner’s license. Three days later, on the 10th, I had my first ever driving lesson. I received my car and driving license and took the vehicle for a quick spin on February 7th.

Today, on March 14th, we went on our first family ride.

The execution of the strategy to learn to drive and purchase a car is immensely efficient and undoubtedly successful. Now, I can confidently take the car through all kinds of traffic and pilot the four-wheeler for hours on the highway.

It is interesting to note that I required only 21 driving practice runs. That’s 21 days. Give or take a few days, it’s about a month. 

Pretty darn good for a guy who went through several nervous breakdowns and existential crises in the past two quarters.

Wins Across The Board

If I wasn’t recovering from a psychological slump at the moment, I would be celebrating these wins harder. Cherry on cake, I didn’t pause or delay any other projects and made relevant adjustments across operations effectively.

For instance, midway through my “F1 2025 Title Contender” series, I realized that it doesn’t fall in the 20% of the videos that’d give me 80% of my results. Then, I immediately started working on a video that fell into that category which was published about seven hours ago.

There are plenty of positives to focus on in other areas such as working out and office tasks where I continued to perform exceptionally while battling my demons.

Most importantly, I learned a few interesting things about myself and can now plan the upcoming months more decisively.

Honestly, all of it deserves recognition and applause from me. Hence, I will write another journal entry listing the achievements, things I picked up, and future plans around work, workouts, and content.

Until next time,

Tara

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Next Chapter: NA

Previous Chapter: Session 20 Debrief: New Morning, Same Crap

Index (with Prologue): The Path to Driving License

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